Everyday Spirals

January 14, 2008

I currently have a job that requires me to be on the road before the sun even contemplates what splendor it will paint for the day. Thus, I get to witness the glorious display every day and at predawn there are few clues what wonders await me. I just know that “something” will unfold just like Mercies to manage my day.


How many of us can put aside the childish milky ambitions for the finer meat of life? Can we say with a clear conscience that it is NOT about me? The numbers dwindle when we say we live a selfless life in all areas. Yeah, we surrender the few obvious eyesores. We might even proudly confess that we have yielded areas that please our loved ones so we can see the light dancing in their eyes. When the door is shut and windows closed do we still so righteously lay bare with self-sacrificing or do we all have a measure of a hoping or yearning desire that it is “about me”?


vortex.jpgI was heading for a project early last week, when there was no sun—only the downpour of a Midwestern thunderstorm. The new fangled tires make the road more huggable for the individual cars but they spray such a mist on anyone behind them, the visibility becomes thick misty veil. The mercies were no different that rainy morning but the tension was so elevated I screamed out “I WANT IT TO BE ALL ABOUT ME”. I so wanted all those other drivers home either having breakfast or already at work surfing the net. When I finally arrived at my destination, I so focused on my needs, my wants and my responsibilities that I saw how rarely I think about anyone but me. It saddened me that I have spun around so quickly and tightly that I am caught in an unstoppable vortex of anxiety.


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